You Call That Parking?


It’s common for my wife to drag me off the street and into our house. It has nothing to do with uncontrollable wandering and all to do with parking. Out the front there is a strip between two driveways that is more than enough space for four average vehicles. Yet it’s a regular occurrence that I’ll pull up and some idiot has taken up two spots. Two parking spots for one car. Is it any wonder I stand in disbelief. What person is so stupid that they can’t see how wrong that is on so many levels.

Recently while I was standing across the road looking at three cars casually occupying the space of four, my neighbour approached me. He’s a school councillor and as he deals with tragedy on a daily basis I expected him to understand. I think you’re overreacting, he says. But it’s wrong on so many levels, I say. He was unconvinced. He doesn’t care because he has a driveway, I tell myself.

As I enter my house, restrained by my wife, I usually get the little lecture. You’re overreacting, she says. Evil thrives when good men stay silent, I tell her. With all the bad things that happen in the World, this is what you focus on, she says. But it’s wrong on so many levels, I say. It’s only parking, she says.

It’s true, I do have an obsession with parking. I will usually not drive somewhere if the parking is bad. I will never pay for parking. I will not wait for parking.

I think it’s healthy having a passion. Imagine if you were one of those Yogi-type guys that never let anything bother them. How many friends would you have, none of mine that’s for sure.

Keep calm, till next time. LF


About Author

Leon Fish

Leon fish is well read, well travelled and under educated. He has written for film and television – the highlight being his full-length feature, Bloodspit, which still holds the record as the cheapest Australian film to ever show at the Cannes film festival.

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